A common insult says cuckold fantasies come from low self-esteem. That is a claim you can check against research instead of repeating.
What the research is about
Sex and Psychology takes the question on directly.
Source: Sex Question Friday: Do Men’s Cuckold Fantasies Stem From Low Self-Esteem?, Sex and Psychology, February 20,
- Figures, samples, and methods are on that page.
How this shows up in public play
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Do not diagnose your partner from a porn category.
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If the fantasy is yours, you can say so without a speech about your worth.
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If the fantasy is not yours, you can decline.
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Self-esteem is not a house rule. Consent is.