Some people experience kink as an orientation. Others experience it as a practice they can take or leave. Research argues about the word. Venues do not.
What the research is about
Sex and Psychology lays out the orientation question.
Source: Is Kink a Sexual Orientation?, Sex and Psychology, May 13,
- Figures, samples, and methods are on that page.
How this shows up in public play
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You can go to a class without adopting an identity.
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You can hold the identity and still skip a party.
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Nobody at the door needs your theory of yourself.
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If the word matters to you, read the source, then use the one you mean.