Understanding Drop in Kink: Sub Drop, Top Drop, Event Drop & How to Ride the Wave Ever felt amazing after a scene-rushed, high, euphoric-and then crash a few hours later (or even the next day)? That's drop. It's a weird, messy, beautiful part of the ride. The "Black & Blues: Sub Drop, Top Drop, Event Drop" slide deck by Richard Sprott & Anna Randall (TASHRA, 2016) digs into what these drops are, what causes them, and how to cope. I'm unpacking it here + giving you tools to ride the peaks and survive the valleys.

What Is Drop? In the kink/BDSM world, "drop" refers to the emotional and physical aftermath after a scene or intense experience where things shift. There are different types:

• Sub Drop

• what many bottoms experience after releasing intense sensation or power exchange.

• Top Drop

• when the person doing the dominating role also has a comedown (mental/emotional fatigue, guilt, etc.).

• Event Drop

• after a large kink event, workshop, or gathering you're usually "on" all day. The crash when it winds down can be intense emotionally, socially, physically. (Sprott & Randall's slide deck calls out all three in "Black & Blues" and maps how common they are and what people report feeling.)

What Happens During Drop: From Peak to Crash Here are things that tend to go on

• Sprott & Randall highlight multiple frameworks for understanding drop:

| Phase | What's happening internally | |-------|------------------------------| | Peak Experience | Adrenaline, endorphins, emotional intimacy, sensory overload

• scene going strong.

| | Biochemical Shift | The "rush" slows: adrenaline/endorphin levels drop; parasympathetic nervous system kicks back in. Body starts returning from fight/flight into rest. | | Emotional Aftershock | Sadness, anxiety, shame, disorientation, guilt, regret or even quiet serenity depending on how the scene ended and your internal narrative. | | Physical Fatigue | Exhaustion, maybe cold or chills, soreness or muscle fatigue. | | Identity/Self Reflection | Sometimes people report feeling changed

• mood swings, questioning, meaning, or even regret that mixes with pride. | One big point in the deck: drops aren't just "bad"

• they are part of the transformation: catharsis, healing, integration of what happened.

Why Drop Happens (Different Models) Sprott & Randall present several models to explain drop

• useful, because knowing why helps you ride them better.

• Biochemical Model: hormones, neurotransmitters, adrenal rates, endorphin rush and crash.

• Emotional / Self-Development Model: Scenes are intense experiences; afterwards people reflect on identity, behavior, what they want or fear.

• Grief / Loss Model: drop can feel like loss

• loss of intensity, loss of connection, uncertainty of how to come back to "ordinary life."

• Peak & Transformational Experience: sometimes scenes are spiritual, cathartic, or "peak" experiences. Coming down from them can feel disorienting.

How to Prepare & Cope with Drop Because drop will happen if you're doing serious scenes, here are coping tools (pulled from slide deck plus community wisdom):

Identify in advance

• Before scenes and events, remind yourself that drop is possible.

• Talk to partner about how you'll support each other afterwards.

Plan Aftercare & Comedowns

• Quiet time, rest.

• Warm drinks, cuddles, comfort things (music, plush toy, favorite blanket).

• Gentle physical care: massage, stretching, cooling down.

Emotional Debrief

• Talk or journal about what you felt during the scene.

• Name your emotions (sad, energized, shame, joy, etc.).

• If guilt or regret shows up, it helps to voice it instead of suppressing.

Community Connection

• Safe people to check in with (friends, mentors).

• If at event, find a decompression session or quiet space.

Recovery Routine

• Sleep well.

• Hydration, nutrition.

• Wait before scheduling more intensity

• rest your mind and body.

When Drop Gets Heavy: Warning Signs & Self-Care Sometimes drop tips into something more serious. Watch out for:

• Ongoing depression, anxiety, or feelings of worthlessness

• Self-criticism that feels toxic or triggers old wounds

• Physical symptoms beyond normal: prolonged sleeplessness, insomnia, body pain

• If drop lingers beyond typical time (days/weeks) and starts interfering with daily life If any of that happens, reaching out for mental health support is smart (especially kink-aware, see our article on finding kink-aware therapy).

Example Stories Here are a couple of composite, anonymized stories inspired by what people described in the "Black & Blues" slides + online communities. Use these to map what "your drop" might feel like. > "I had a scene on Saturday that was everything I wanted: intensity, trust, sensation. Sunday morning I woke up feeling hollow. I couldn't focus. My body ached, but more than that, I felt like I lost myself somewhere." > "As the Top, I underestimated how much emotional work I put in. By the end I was on social high, hearing praise and trust; then when I got home, I felt guilty for enjoying the control, as though I'd done something wrong." Both stories show drop is multi-faceted

• emotional, physical, identity-based.

How to Build Resilience for Drop If you do drops regularly, building resilience helps:

• Keep a drop-log: briefly note how long drops last, what helps, what makes them worse

• Develop routines (sleep, nutrition, emotional check-in) that support recovery

• Using rituals: post-scene releases

• maybe bath, music, art, journaling

• Setting scene intensity boundaries: knowing when not to do heavy scenes (emotionally fragile times, stress, illness, etc.)

Resources & Further Reading

• TASHRA Research Library

• Evidence-based kink research and education

• Finding a Kink-Aware Therapist

• Mental health support for the kink community

• Kink Myths Debunked

• Understanding common misconceptions about kink

Full Credit / Citation Sprott, Richard, PhD & Anna Randall, DHS, MSW, MPH. Black & Blues: Sub Drop, Top Drop, Event Drop (Slide Deck Resource 1, TASHRA Exceptional Series.) December 3,

2016. CARAS & TASHRA. Available at: tashra.org